I know. It's Memorial Day weekend and I should take a short sabbatical from the blogosphere. But I had to share a little something with you: I am going back to college!Yes, that's right. Husband and I are headed to New Haven later today for my younger sister's law school graduation. And we are (gasp) leaving the girls home with my In-Laws Grammy and Dad-Dad. The girls will be absolutely fine. Better than fine.
But will I be okay? It will be my very first time away from Baby and I'm mostly dreading it. BUT. Then I picture college. The late nights. The brazen banter. The impossibly green campus. I am going back!
And, yes, now that I am a few years older with a couple of kids and a regrettable surplus of worldly wisdom, I know that it will not be the same. I know late nights will probably mean something past eleven and that any brazen banter will probably be with Husband and my family. I know that I will probably check my watch every few minutes and imagine what Toddler and Baby are up to. Whether Toddler used her Eeyore or Big Bird toothbrush. Whether Baby scarfed carrots or sweet potatoes. I know that I will miss them. But still. It will be nice to go back and have a little taste of college life, of that wild and wonderful world that was my home before this more ruthless real world.
Would you go back to college given the chance? And would you bring your maturity with you or leave it at home with the kids? Would you prefer to revel in the sublime and stupid innocence and ignorance of your college days?
A,
ReplyDeleteHope you are having a fantastic time in New Haven, I still dream about the pizza I had there! I have been back to visit my alma mater a few times, though with kids, and as I've walked through the idyllic quads, pushing a stroller, I have often reflected on the same types of questions you post here. My college experience was truly wonderful in so many ways and it led me down the path the I am on now. It's hard to regret anything or reflect that I truly needed my 30 something wisdom to enhance the experience. Of course, I do wish that I were more self-assured back then, it has taken me this long to realize that I am pretty fabulous! When I was younger, I always assumed that everyone else had figured it out. I wondered if I were a little thinner, cooler, smarter, if my life wouldn't be that much better, THE guy would call, I'd be asked to join whatever out of reach group I aspired etc. I realize now of course, that I missed out on nothing, that THE guy emerged at the right time, that friends and groups and activities I did join/pursue were fantastic. I guess if I could go back as a 17 yo freshman with my 30 something confidence, I probably wouldn't do much different, I just wouldn't wonder what else I was missing out on b/c of my "perceived" shortcomings. I realize these insecurities, which I haven't fully conquered but I am prevailing over, are largely of my own making. My 7 yo daughter was born confident and afraid of nothing. I can't even imagine what she'll be like in college.
Enjoy the weekend, the girls will be fine, I promise! It is super important to spend time away with just Husband, we don't do it enough. Whenever we do, we rediscover each other a bit, we remind each other that we really are in love independent of our kids, as amazing as they are. Congratulations and best of luck to your sister!
Smart, blonde lawyers unite :)!
D