Uh Oh

Talk about insecurity.  What have I done?

Last night (after a day spent obsessively posting arguably tiresome details about my day in the life of a Manhattan County juror), I was kind of (okay, extremely) pumped about this blog thing.  Putting myself out there? How daring! Talking about my hopes and fears and flaws? How adventuresome! And so what did I do? I drafted an email. To friends and family.  (If you are reading this now, you likely received said email).  In this email, I shared the good news about my book and asked people to check out this blog. 

And then I hit send.

Immediately, my heart began to race and suddenly I was thirsty for a towering glass of Pinot Grigio  (Don't you fret, I watched The Hills instead). I clutched my BlackBerry tight, willing it to buzz, hungry for emails from people.  From all five of you.  And thankfully there were a few instant buzzes to save me from my stress spiral.  Yes, mostly they were from that lovely Postmaster telling me there had been a mail delivery error.  And, yes, I was wildly relieved that at least those people wouldn't come here and witness this debacle-in-the-making.  But a few real emails came.  And they were nice. And I felt a little bit better.  A little bit.

Why the near-crippling anxiety?  Because I am putting myself out there.  Because I have a mild allergy to the self-promotion thing.  As my little sis said, I better get used to it if I am going to try to do the author thing.  Guess I better re-grow that thick skin I had as an associate at the law firm.  

Guess I better keep that wine fridge stocked.